What does it mean to be ‘addicted’ to anxiety? When I was a teenager, addiction was usually thought of in relation to problem behaviours such as gambling, drinking, drugs or sex, where the relatively easy possibility of achievable ‘highs’ was seen to outweigh the risk of attracting the ‘lows’.
As I got older, this expanded into new areas, with people talking of being addicted to shopping, food, and now, phones and social media. At the same time – let's say from the 1970s to the present day – in the background, records show that anxiety was proliferating.
Anxiety, as defined by the Mental Health Foundation, is "a type of fear usually associated with the thought of a threat or something going wrong in the future, but it can also arise from something happening right now." We have considerable understanding of the many underlying triggers and causes of anxiety, as known to us all, including negative life events, social isolation, work or education stress, physical and/or mental health problems, social and family pressures, including pressures presented online.
If these are the more ‘obvious’ causes of anxiety, known to and experienced by a good many of us, there are other factors too, such as our genes, our upbringing, education and environment. The Mental Health Foundation Report referred to above demonstrates that the cost-of-living crisis is a particular concern currently, with one third saying they were not coping well with their anxiety and nearly one half claiming to keep their anxiety a secret (a clear red flag to us counsellors!).The "easy" answers or typical suggestions are often those, as follows:
- getting enough sleep (not easy if you’re worrying about the MOT or electric bill)
- taking exercise
- spending time in nature
- speaking to family and /or friends
- eating well
- challenging/questioning your anxious thoughts
- NOT turning to the self-soothing consumption of drink or drugs, etc.
If these are the “easy" answers to conquering anxiety, writers such as Owen O’Kane, author of 'Addicted to Anxiety’, and Dr Lee David, an acclaimed CBT psychotherapist, take things a step further as shown below (including some comments of my own). They suggest it’s important to address the following as a way of overcoming anxiety:
Acknowledgement and acceptance of the addictive components of your anxious self. It is quite likely your anxiety is having an impact on your physical body – your stomach, gut, or head for example, your mind, (O’Kane points out that the mind creates around 60,000 - 90,000 thoughts per day, around 70% of which are negative or fearful in nature), your feelings, (such as a sense of overwhelm), behaviours such as OCD, energies and beliefs.
Taking responsibility for your part in recovery (we can’t just rely on others for support, we need to put the work in too!).
Amendments to your lifestyle to support recovery (thinking and acting on what you need to do to make progress – maybe having better boundaries).
Relating to your anxious self with compassion and non-judgement (self–compassion and kindness are key here. Befriending your anxiety is key as described by Dr Lee David.
Accepting that you are not powerless (You are in control – it’s your life, no one else’s).
Accepting anxiety as a temporary state (as said by many wise people through the ages: 'This too will pass').
A final thought and personal recommendation: Explore how you could introduce mindfulness meditation into your life; a practice that has been proven to have considerable value in developing patience and self-compassion, reducing anxiety, stress and depression; and that’s just for starters.